I wrote this on March 11th but I guess I saved it instead of posting it! Oops! (I wondered why no one had commented on it!)
Today is the anniversary of Kaitlyn’s birth. She would be 5 years old today! Can you believe that! Wow! A lot has happened over the past five years and we wouldn’t change any of it. We have learned and grown so much and all of our experiences have made us the people and family we are today! I thought I would share some of the pictures of Katie and some of my scrapbook pages (I took pictures of them and they didn’t turn out very well-sorry!) I also thought I would share some of “our story” about Kaitlyn-some of you may not know very much her and you may be curious. Of course you can ask us anytime, but here is your chance to ask us your questions. I will do a Q & A post after this one and answer all of your questions. (It won’t make us feel bad to talk about Kaitlyn or think about her-in fact it is good for us to talk about her as much as we can-it makes us feel better.) I can’t go into a ton of detail in this post because the library here in GERMANY only allows us 30min. (yes, I will post about all of that too another day.)
Today is the anniversary of Kaitlyn’s birth. She would be 5 years old today! Can you believe that! Wow! A lot has happened over the past five years and we wouldn’t change any of it. We have learned and grown so much and all of our experiences have made us the people and family we are today! I thought I would share some of the pictures of Katie and some of my scrapbook pages (I took pictures of them and they didn’t turn out very well-sorry!) I also thought I would share some of “our story” about Kaitlyn-some of you may not know very much her and you may be curious. Of course you can ask us anytime, but here is your chance to ask us your questions. I will do a Q & A post after this one and answer all of your questions. (It won’t make us feel bad to talk about Kaitlyn or think about her-in fact it is good for us to talk about her as much as we can-it makes us feel better.) I can’t go into a ton of detail in this post because the library here in GERMANY only allows us 30min. (yes, I will post about all of that too another day.)
Five years ago, in March 2003, we were expecting our first baby. She would be my family’s first grandbaby and Shawn’s family’s first girl! She was very loved even before she was born. We decided to name her Kaitlyn Dawn Barrett (my little sister is Ashlee Dawn so she was honored to have a namesake.) This picture was actually just before we got “the call”…Shawn got put on alert-he was going to be deployed to Iraq for the war. They told us it could be for up to 2 years. That would suck! At my next doctor’s appt we wrote on my belly “get me out of here…I want to see my daddy!” We asked if he’d induce me. We did an amnio and her lungs weren’t ready yet. We were so sad! It was devastating to think that she would be born after Shawn was gone and she may not see him for two years. At my next appt he asked if we were ready to have our baby! We were caught off guard but definitely ready since it was Monday and he was supposed to leave on Wednesday.
After 20 long hours of labor she was born! Yay! Her birthday is March 11, 2003 or 03-11-03 (I am funny with numbers!)
Our first family picture
She was a tiny little thing! Here are her footprints next to Karah and Alyssa’s feet (they had the same size)-KDBug’s were way smaller. She was 6 lbs 15 oz and 20 inches long. She was born 11 days before her due date of March 22nd.
Daddy got to give her her first bath
We decided to bless her that night because Shawn was supposed to leave the next day.
We were shocked at how many people were able to come see her blessing at such short notice! We were so happy for all of our friends and family to be able to be there and meet her!
Kaitlyn and Daddy-so proud! Just after we got back to our room Shawn’s unit called and told us he had a few more days before they were to leave. Sunday was the new goodbye day.
Here she is ready to go home
Not ready to be in the car seat though! Look how tiny!
We enjoyed a few days with her just cuddling and enjoying each other. We were so lucky!
Here is Kaitlyn with her cousins Tayden (6 weeks older than her) and Noah (6 months older than him) She has another great cousin Spencer who wasn’t in this picture but is in the one I have framed and forgot to scan before I left for Germany! Sorry Spencer!
KT had jaundice really bad so she had to be on a light table for most of the time she was at home. We went to the doctor every day to see the doctor and get her heal pricked for tests. In fact, she probably would have been admitted on Sunday for jaundice had she not stopped breathing first because her numbers were so high!
She had a really hard time nursing. She couldn’t coordinate the suck-swallow thing so I would pump and we’d feed her with a cup-my mom was the best at doing this-I would always spill all over! These last two pictures were taken just a few hours before she stopped breathing.
Life Flight Pictures
I was laying in my bed nursing Kaitlyn and she finally was latching on right! I couldn’t believe it! She would fall asleep still latched on and I would move a little and she’d start again-you know how it is. Well, Shawn got in the shower (he had about 30 minutes before he had to leave to go to Iraq) and my mom came to take her to get her dressed while I got myself ready. As I was handing her to my mom I remember saying “mom, I don’t think she’s breathing” (not wanting to think that was even possible.) We unwrapped her from the blanket and her body was limp. She wasn’t breathing! We grabbed Shawn and he did CPR, we called 911 (I say we but it wasn’t me-I was freaking out in the other room! I was useless!) My wonderful hubby has such a level head-I am so grateful for him always being able to hold himself together when needed! The paramedics came and called life flight-she had aspirated and gone into cardiac arrest. It took them 40 minutes to get her heart beathing again! They flew her up to Primary Children’s and we were on our way-after we filled out the police reports! Yes, they had to treat it like a crime scene! It started making me feel like maybe I did do something wrong, which I didn’t!
We spent hours reading to, talking to and touching our little angel.
All the wires on her head were for the EKG machine to check for brain waves. (it’s EKG right?) She ended up being brain dead. :(
Poor baby girl barely had any skin left. She got so swollen from all the fluids- she doesn’t even have a neck anymore!
This is Jennifer. She was our nurse and she was absolutely wonderful!
She was in the hospital Sunday, Monday and Tuesday we turned off the machines. We weren’t able to hold her at all while she was in the hospital so, while we were waiting to see if we could find someone who needed an organ from her, Jennifer let us hold her. We got molds of her hands and feet and painted her nails pink. She was a week old when she passed away. We decided to have her funeral on Saturday, March 22nd-her due date.
One of our other nurses Peggy, who was also great, gave us the idea to hold her on a pretty pillow since we didn’t get to hold her very much while she was alive (she had to be on her light table as much as possible until she was in the hospital and then we couldn’t hold her for fear it would displace one of her tubes that was helping her breath or something. I thought it was a great idea-it took some people off guard but I am glad we did it!
We spent hours reading to, talking to and touching our little angel.
All the wires on her head were for the EKG machine to check for brain waves. (it’s EKG right?) She ended up being brain dead. :(
Poor baby girl barely had any skin left. She got so swollen from all the fluids- she doesn’t even have a neck anymore!This is Jennifer. She was our nurse and she was absolutely wonderful!
She was in the hospital Sunday, Monday and Tuesday we turned off the machines. We weren’t able to hold her at all while she was in the hospital so, while we were waiting to see if we could find someone who needed an organ from her, Jennifer let us hold her. We got molds of her hands and feet and painted her nails pink. She was a week old when she passed away. We decided to have her funeral on Saturday, March 22nd-her due date.
One of our other nurses Peggy, who was also great, gave us the idea to hold her on a pretty pillow since we didn’t get to hold her very much while she was alive (she had to be on her light table as much as possible until she was in the hospital and then we couldn’t hold her for fear it would displace one of her tubes that was helping her breath or something. I thought it was a great idea-it took some people off guard but I am glad we did it! 
We had a nice funeral and a graveside service for her and of course a lunch at the church for everyone. We had so much support and love from so many people! It made it a lot easier knowing we weren’t alone and we had a lot of people we could turn to if we needed something. We also got a lot of priesthood blessings. I know that helped a lot-it was like we were being carried in His hands through our trial and I know we couldn’t have made it without Him and the things we believe! I know we will see Kaitlyn again and we will be able to raise her! I am so grateful we were sealed in the temple for time and all eternity so we can be a family forever!
Shortly thereafter Shawn met up with his unit at March AFB in California and within 72 hours they were in Iraq. (He was in the Marines for 8 years before the Air Force. He was a vehicle commander for his Recon unit shooting TOW missiles from their LAVs.) We were lucky, another unit needed a break because they had been on for so long and our unit had to take their place in Okinawa, Japan. So Shawn only had to be in Iraq for a few months and then they came home for a 10 day break in between duty stations. They were just going to be doing training and stuff in Japan so we decided he should stay home and deal with everything that had happened.
Can you tell we are related?
Here is her headstone-it took me forever to decide how it should be and what to write. It finally came together just before her first birthday anniversary.
Here is Boo visiting when she was little.
And here are all three of my girls on her 4 year anniversary.
Oh, ya-you probably want to know what was wrong! At first the culture started to grow for Strep so they assumed it was Group B Strep (since that is most common in babies that age.) But as the culture grew more over a few days they told us the culture was contaminated because it was Group A Strep that grew and babies don't get strep throat. So probably someone doing the test or CPR had strep. When they did the autopsy they said she had a Non-Specific Congenital Myopathy. That's a muscle disorder that makes her muscles weak. When we had our other babies, we also found out that she had low carnitine levels when they admitted her. Carnitine helps turn fat into energy and if you don't have enough then the fat turns into toxins and can damage your organs. Our other girls have that too. But thanks to Katie we were able to test them and get them on monitors and meds right away.
I like to think that we have our very own guardian angel. Thanks Katie for watching over us!
Here is what the obituary said…
Kaitlyn Dawn Barrett
3/11/03 – 3/18/03
Born to Shawn Taylor Barrett and April Leigh Mettmann Barrett
Kaitlyn’s Journey
Eagerly awaiting your birth,
So anticipating.
Our precious angel dear
You are almost here.
A whirlwind you create
With the entrance you make.
You are perfect and sweet,
A true delight to greet.
Your Mommy and Daddy
Hold you so gladly.
The love for you overflows
And their wonderment grows.
We gaze on your beautiful face,
And our hearts begin to race
With a surge of pure love
For our gift from above.
We touch your tiny hands and toes,
Little bow mouth and perky nose.
We cuddle and coo
At everything you do.
You are dressed all in white
Surrounded by a glowing light
For Daddy prays indeed
About all you may ever need.
We thank God you are here
Our precious angel so dear.
You are greatly loved,
Little one from above.
Suddenly Daddy is able to stay
An extra couple of days.
With you his time he spends
And his love grows without end.
Mommy dresses you in pink,
You are such a treat.
With you finally here she smiles,
He heart growing all the while.
You are so loved and cherished by all.
We needed you here and you answered our call.
Countless snapshots we take
For each memory you create.
We all love you, precious one
And thank God you have come.
What a joyous blessing you are
Our serenely angelic star.
With a turn too quick
You are suddenly sick,
To the hospital you fly
Moments ticking by.
We gaze at your tiny body and know
It is almost time for you to go.
As you peacefully sleep
We mourn and we weep.
Grandmas, RaeAnn and Tanya;
Grandpas, Mike and Lee;
Aunts, Trachelle, Candace, Erika and Ashlee;
Uncles, Jason Todd, Brian, Joe and Ty;
Cousins, Spencer, Ethan, Noah and Tayden are close by.
Mommy and Daddy hold each other and you.
Such a difficult time they are going through.
Our sorrow is so incredibly deep
For our beautiful miracle we cannot keep.
Your perfect spirit and divinely pure heart,
From earthly life we know you must depart.
From our grasp you slowly slip away,
And return to Heavenly Father to stay.
Because of the efforts of many, we were able to enjoy a few more moments with our angel. Special thanks to Jennifer and Peggy, We love you!
Funeral Services will be held Saturday, March 22, 2003, at the Marcrest 2nd Ward, 6170 W Marcrest Drive (3100 South). The family will receive friends at a viewing from 11:00 am - 1:00 pm prior to the service at the church. Internment: Wasatch Lawn South Valley Memorial Park. Funeral Directors: Valley View Funeral Home.
Here is a slide show with some of our pictures and some scrapbook pages:
I tried to make the slide show several times but when I was almost done it would freeze up on me so I might try again later but for now no slide show-sorry.
Thanks for letting me share! ape
