5-17-09 to 5-19-09 welcome home and dirt

So I was thinking when I was walking out of the hospital, about how grateful I am that Evan waited a few more days to come. Had everything happened a week earlier, I would have been getting released from the hospital on Mother's Day! Thank goodness! That would have been a crappy day! Here's me coming home with my blanket...This is the blanket I came home from the hospital in. My great-grandma made it for me! I have since brought all of my children home from the hospital in it. First Kaitlyn, then Karah, then Alyssa and now I bring just the blanket home with me. I may not have a baby in my arms this time but he'll be in my heart forever! If you look closely you can see Evan's tiny lamb in my hand.

I love nature!

Here are some pictures of the kids playing in the huge kitty litter box out back that our HOA calls a playground. Ewe!

I think this girl likes to stick out her tongue-what do you think?!

Do two year olds ever have clean faces? Oh well, still cute!

For some reason, I LOVE this picture. Maybe because tiny toes are so cute or because it's blurry around the outside like I know what I'm doing-which I don't... Anyways, here are Alyssa's toes!

They play so well together!

There's the tongue again!

I love how Karah is carefully sitting on the edge and Alyssa is sitting in the sand completely covered! Awesome!

More feet and hands!

Now we are caught up to this post, and this post, and this post about Evan's birth....

My Special Book!

Just a note...I took these pictures of the book all at the same time and for some reason some are uploading here the wrong way! I don't get it because they are the right orientation in my folder and previews! I am not messing with it any more though!

*****

On Friday the 8th of May we went to my friend Robbie's house for something special. She had offered to take pictures of Evan's first visit to a dairy farm (their dairy farm!) She had a special angel that passed away at 24 weeks and had always wanted to get family pictures while Sasha was still alive inside her-that's what she was offering to us. Of course we jumped at the chance! I've never had maternity pictures before so this was new to me! It was fun to be the center of attention/compliments/pampering for a day! We spent the whole day there in Idaho playing with all the baby cows ("they are called calves, mom" as Karah says!) We saw the farm (they have 1400 cows!), the "calves", the chickens, played in the cotton seed stuff and the bales of hay, etc. The kids had a blast and Karah found a "Prince" that she wants to marry! I'm so glad we visited when we did because a week later, we went to the hospital to have Evan. Great timing! We had tons of fun and can't wait to go back!

She was so sweet to compile the photos into a book for us to have and remember Evan's time with us! We love it and show it to everyone! If you haven't seen it and want to, let me know! Here are some shots from the book!

I love all the pictures of Shawn and I together! And the ones with the girls! And the ones as a family! And the ones just me and my boy! I basically love it all! Thanks Robbie!

Classic Karah hugging Lyssa's face!

Couldn't fix this one so just tilt your head! lol

Ditto!

Playing with one of the new babies!

I love this picture of Alyssa!

Family in the hay...

oops!

The back cover. Shawn's hand and my hand in a heart over Evan. I heart you too Robbie! Thanks for being such a great friend!

Evan's Farewell Sunset

Yes, I know these were taken over 6 weeks ago...and that there are a lot of photos in this post! It was so pretty that night! After we went to the hospital Thursday and found out that Evan had passed away, the kids went with my mom and Steve to sleep over for the night. (We were going to be induced in the morning.) Shawn and I were hungry so we decided to grab a bite to eat. We went to Noodles & Co (LOVE the Pad Thai with chicken!) It's kind of funny that we ate here this day... When we went in for our ultrasound appointment we ate lunch here before hearing all the bad news and now we ate here after hearing the final bad news. It was kinda like bookends...start and end of another hard chapter in our lives! (I will still eat at Noodles because it's really yummy!) Shawn said he'd pay me $50 to buy a bottle of wine at the restaurant (dump it out, fill it with something else) and drink it with my huge 7 month pregnant belly! We thought it would be funny the reactions we'd get! It's not like it would hurt the baby (since he wasn't alive anymore.) Ya, I know! That sucks! and it's not very funny... This was the best I could do (see picture.) I got a cream soda, which I love, and enjoyed drinking that! We thought I should lay on the ground looking like I passed out with the bottle in my hand-still probably not very funny but we didn't know how to deal with what we were feeling. Why not laugh?

When we were driving home looking at how beautiful the sky was Shawn suggested we go to the Great Salt Lake and take pictures of the sunset with our new camera. I said yes. We had planned on going home and sulking so this sounded like a better alternative. Once again, there are a lot of pictures on this post!

Here's the beginning of a very beautiful sunset!

Shawn posing on a rock

Proud father of a tiny angel

We decided that this had to have been Evan's farewell sunset tonight! Thanks Evan for giving us this wonderful gift!

It was really interesting walking out to the water. Apparently we went the wrong way and it was super muddy, slippery and our feet were sticking in the mud (thank goodness we were wearing crocs!) I guess the water is down in the afternoon and then rises as the sun sets. Cool!

Evan and Mommy

Walking on water! LOL!

The "famous" picture! ;)

Good-bye Evan! Are we ready for tomorrow and the coming days/weeks/months...? No, but we'll get through it together!

Remember how I said the water was rising? Well we didn't know it until we looked over and my shoes, which were on the beach, were now floating in the water and the new camera bag was also in the water! Aah! Here's Shawn running to save the bag with the lenses and gear in it! It was fine-just a little sandy on the bottom!

I probably should have photoshopped these and made the horizon level! Oh well!

I think my son gave us the most gorgeous sunset and goodbye ever! I am so excited to see him again! He is so special!