So just an update on everything I can think of right now... We are still in Syracuse. When we sell our house (in Syracuse), the girls and I will kick out our renters (in SLC) and move back into our old townhouse (in SLC.) Our divorce should be final next month (January.) I really, really, really need a job with benefits so if anyone knows of any openings...please let me know! I really like doing secretary work, office work like filing, faxing, organizing, etc. Maybe a receptionist, secretary or in office support. Love it! I am a quick learner. The only thing I can't say yes to without high doses of medication are call centers and sales-I'm terrible at both! I really worry about my girls. They are having such a hard time (only with me though apparently!) I'm still out of commission since my bilateral foot surgery and they have Grandma T and Papa Howie here helping. They aren't seeing their dad because he's deployed-he'll be back on the 24th. There is so much change in the air. Shawn will not be living with the girls, he's probably not going to be around much. When we sell the house, we'll be moving, Grandma T & Papa Howie will go back home, new school, new schedule, I will be working and they will be in daycare (they are used to having me 24/7!) Karah is still really upset about Evan and Kaitlyn and she gives me a thumbs down to me getting a job. It's sad to see how much everything is affecting her. Her personality is changing-both girls really insecure-what can I do? I think I need to find some counseling for her/them. It would be nice to get everything settled at the new place and then get a job when the girls are more stable but I don't know that I'll have that luxury. I need to take what I can get. They are getting tons of love but I know they can feel something is just not right! All I can do is be positive and give plenty of cuddles and quality time! Any other ideas? I will need to find child care so if you have any recommendations... I will be living in SL (by downtown) so hopefully I can find a job and day care close by. Am I being too picky? I know people that have been trying for jobs for over a year and I am expecting to be employed soon-I don't know what to say... please?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
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8 comments:
Speaking as the daughter of a divorce that took place when I was Four years old- try to shield them from as much of the divorce/visitation drama as you can and I would definitely second the counseling thing.
Hve you checked for a job with a State department or Salt lake county? I've heard that the benefits are great.
Hey April. Wow, I had no idea anything was going on. Hang in there girl...I'll let you know if I hear about any work. Everything will work out with the house...things are looking up! In the meantime, let me know if/how I can help you or the girls. Remember, we're just a few miles away! Take care April!
April,
There's never anything 'easy' about divorce. I know... done it twice.
Were you living at the Balmoral Townhomes before? (reason I'm asking is because my daughter, Meaghan, and her family just moved there about two months ago)
Sometimes all you can do it take it one day at a time - and let the rest work itself out. Stay close to Heavenly Father, I am so happy your mom and Howie are able to help you, that makes the world of difference!
#1 - you should definitely get alimony from your husband. Make sure you do, I didn't, and am really really really really sorry now.
Your girls are feeling something's in the air, do you know what helps? Music.
Oh - you might want to think about taking the Post Office exam - they pay excellent and have great benefits! Otherwise, the schools always need good substitutes, but they don't pay as well. *bleah*
#2: I would really recommend looking into getting a degree before you get solid into other stuff and then the time goes by and you get stuck without one - like I did. (I went back to college full-time last year, Steven-Henagers is marvelous, I highly recommend it to anyone! My daughter is also going there full-time, they have excellent courses, the instructors are great, and half the classes are online so you can be at home with your children while taking them. Each class lasts four weeks... if you give them my name as a reference, OH - that's Orem campus, sorry~ There's one in Murray too, where a good freind of mine is getting her master's degree.)
p.s. The school provides a laptop to their students too, it's great!
p.p.s. In case I don't 'talk' with you before, I want to wish you and your precious family a very wonderful and merry Christmas - remember, MUSIC~ when your girls are having a bad moment(s), and they will -- turn the radio on (or a cd) and get them singing - and hugs are really important... you need to know they might not even know why they're mad, but they will be.
You're a great person, April - I've known that since we first met you and you were helping my daughters deal with my divorce from their father. Even with all the physical abuse we put up with, my kids were still angry with me for divorcing him. There is never an easy solution, but you know you deserve to be treated like a Princess and a Queen - and there will be one who will recognize that soon.
Don't know why I just said that, but it came out, so I'll leave it in the comment.
I can't think of anything right off that could be a good lead for your employment needs or daycare, but I will definitely keep you in mind and let you know if I come across anything that could be a good fit!
I wish we were hiring at my job, but we're not :( Things are just too slow. I'm WAY excited to hear that you're planning to move back to the ward though, we REALLY miss you. Brad talks about Karah all the time. I'll keep my eyes and ears open for a job. We love you!
It absolutely breaks my heart to see the girls struggling so much. I cried all night when we left. To hear her pleading for us to stay really shows how truly insecure that little girl is. Lyss too is having a hard time. It would be nice if I could make her "BEST DREAM" come true.
We have been home only one day and I am having withdrawls. We plan to head up to visit again today and maybe sleep over! I hope that doesn't mess the girls up anymore. I think it is confusing to them having people come and go out of their little lives. So sad :(
I pray that your house will sell quickly while you are still recovering. Then you can get the girls all settled into your townhome, into their new school, let them feel secure.... and THEN you can get a job. I think Boo will absolutely FREAK OUT with all of this change if you are not there to comfort her. My heart hurts for her! I really worry for them (and for you) and pray for your happiness.
I think she is bringing up Evan and Katy so much because she feels another loss in her life. Maybe that is her way of dealing with the loss of her daddy not being around. Not sure but it is sad to hear her talk about it.
I love you Ape and am proud of how positive you are trying to be in this situation. Hang in their girl!
I think counseling would be a good idea for your girlies. If you choose counseling LDS social services might be a good place for your kids. You need to get a referral from your bishop first but at least they would have the gospel perspective. I am sorry about everything. Hang in there. I wish I had suggestions for a job but if I come up with anything I will let you know.
All I can say ape is that I wish that we were closer in distance so I could help and YOU ARE SOOOOO BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH WONDERFUL FRIENDS TO SUPPORT YOU AND OUR GIRLS IN THESE TOUGH TIMES.
I LOVE YOU TONZ
Dawnie
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